Choosing the Perfect Narration Style
Please help us to find the right narration style!
When Emil and I started writing The Marina Maneuver, we were certain about the stories we wanted to tell—real cases of workplace decruitment wrapped in the intrigue of fiction. What we weren’t prepared for was the endless decision-making process that writing fiction demands. One question in particular caught us off guard: What narration style works best?
Do we immerse readers in a single character’s thoughts, using a focused first-person perspective? Do we craft a neutral narrator who knows all but never overshadows the action? Or do we experiment with something in between, blending viewpoints and voices? We have tried all the above and some... And we have asked our F&F about what they prefer. And feedback was non-conclusive.
So rather than guessing what would resonate most with readers, we decided to ask you help us choose. Below, we’ve provided snippets of the opening scene from The Marina Maneuver in three different styles. After reading, we’d love your input. Which one feels the most compelling?
Style 1: Multi-perspective immersive narration (several perspectives)
Direct, personal, and intimate—this style places you firmly into the heads of all participants. In this example in Gustav’s head as he navigates a tense conversation.
The office was too polished. Every surface gleamed—oak desk, leather chairs, even the coffee machine in the corner seemed to shine. Greger Blomqvist was seated across from me, but his gaze was far away, lost in a problem he couldn’t solve.
“It’s Eriksson,” he said at last, leaning back and rubbing his temples. CEOs like Greger always had an Eriksson—a disruptive employee they couldn’t manage. “What’s the issue this time?” I asked, pen poised.
“He’s toxic,” Greger sighed. “Disruptive in meetings, doesn’t deliver, and makes me feel like I’m the problem when I confront him.”
I nodded, jotting down the familiar refrain: Problem employee. Limited options.
Style 2: Neutral Narrator
Objective, observational, and classic—this style provides a clear and detailed view of both characters and events.
Greger Blomqvist’s office was as polished as a museum exhibit: the oak desk gleamed under soft lighting, and the leather chairs were perfectly aligned. Despite the outward calm, tension simmered beneath the surface.
“It’s Eriksson,” Greger said, his voice tight as he rubbed his temples.
Gustav Nyström, seated across from him, nodded knowingly. He clicked his pen, a habit he often fell into during moments like this. “What’s the issue this time?”
Greger explained, frustration mounting as he described Eriksson’s behavior—disruptive, unproductive, untouchable due to his family connections. Gustav listened carefully, jotting notes in his black leather notebook, his face unreadable.
Style 3: Neutral Narrator with Intersected Voices
Dynamic and layered—this style blends a neutral narrator with glimpses of inner thoughts and dialogue from key characters.
The office gleamed with unnatural perfection. Gustav Nyström settled into one of the leather chairs, laying his black notebook on his knee. Across the desk, Greger Blomqvist leaned back, rubbing his temples.
“It’s Eriksson,” Greger began, his voice tinged with frustration. “He’s impossible. Disruptive, unreliable, and...untouchable.”
Gustav remained calm, clicking his pen. He had heard this story before, from different CEOs, in different offices. “What’s the real issue this time?” he asked.
Greger’s jaw tightened. “He’s connected. Firing him would create more problems than it solves.”
The consultant’s mind whirred, recalling a similar case Emil once referred to as “a perfect storm.” Gustav looked up. “Have you tried understanding what Eriksson actually wants?”
We Need Your Vote!
Which narration style do you prefer?
1️⃣ Style 1: Multi-perspective immersive narration for an intimate, personal feel.
2️⃣ Style 2: Neutral narrator for a balanced, objective viewpoint.
3️⃣ Style 3: Blended voices for a dynamic and layered experience.
Leave a comment with your choice—or even suggest why it resonates with you. As first-time fiction writers, Emil and I are eager to learn what makes you lean in and turn the page. Your input will shape not only The Marina Maneuver but the entire Swedish Decruiters series.
Tack för hjälpen!
—Gustav & Emil